I know it’s hard to believe but we do lie to ourselves. What are these lies that we tell ourselves you may ask? They can range from our self-image and how we think we look versus how we actually look, to deluding ourselves into thinking we are talented in areas that were obviously not, there are a vast array of lies that we all tell ourselves.
Why do we lie to ourselves?
We lie to ourselves to maintain the reality that we have built about the world to keep it intact; we lie to ourselves to soothe our lives and in some cases to stroke our ego. It’s a form of self-delusion that we practice to keep intact our reality of who we think we are and our relationship to the world. We all have this uncanny ability to somehow rationalize our irrational views of the world and by doing so we end up in essence lying to ourselves and deceiving ourselves.
I see this all the time when I watch reality TV shows like pop idol where contestants come on and truly believe that their true calling and purpose in life is to sing and when they do start to sing it is obvious that they have absolutely no hope of becoming a singer at all. Yet they believe in themselves so much and truly believe that their calling and purpose in life is to become a singer, that is what they wanted from a young age and they sang and sang and loved it so much.
The phrase “keep your day job comes to mind”.
But the question is, how did these peoples view of reality about themselves become so skewed that they truly believe, that just through the power of belief that they can live their dreams and that by some unforeseen force the dream will, somehow morph into reality. Why do they have dreams that are so unrealistic? What led them to believe that they could be something that they have absolutely no talent at all in.
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against dreaming, I even put myself in that category I think most normal people do, everyone has dreams and aspirations. But the problem is that these dreams are not rooted in reality, these people need a serious reality check. What I mean by something being rooted in reality, is that people need to be honest with themselves and take a closer look at their dreams and determine if they really have any aptitude in that area or is it just an empty dream.
“Please don’t let this stop you from dreaming, but please give yourself a reality check.”
But why do people become so delusional and totally ignore what people say to them and pursue their dream even when they don’t have any talent in that area. Maybe it’s because they have all been sold a lie that you should pursue your dreams no matter what anyone says to you, to forget what people say to you, they are just jealous or want to put you down, and you will succeed through sheer determination. A big fat lie!!!
They forget to tell you that if you don’t have any talent in that area you will fail and live a life of misery and never live your dream, until you start being honest with yourself. We are told that your dreams can come true if you believe in them enough. It just seems that people are sold on the idea that if you believe in something long enough somehow some kind of magic will happen and you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams (pardon the pun).
Yes there are people in the world that follows their dreams and they pursue it with vigour and belief and they do come true, but in nearly all the cases they have talent and normally natural aptitude in the area of their dream. Not everyone can follow their dreams because not everyone has the talent or the natural aptitude that their dream requires.
Say for example when I was younger I wanted to be a 100 metres runner and I wanted to be the fasted man in the world. The reality is that I am not genetically predisposed to be a runner, so I would be lying to myself if I told myself that I can one day be the fastest man in the world when I have certain limiting factors in my biological makeup that will never allow me to achieve my dream of becoming the fastest man in the world.
We have our dreams and then we try and rationalize why we can achieve them because we have hypnotized ourselves so much that we are in a trance like state and can’t see the reality of our dilemma.
It’s not just an observation of people. Upon self-reflection I have observed my own self-delusions play out and within that “play” I was not being totally honest with myself. For example I was or thought that I wanted to be an internet marketer, I thought that it was my dream so I immersed myself into everything that involved internet marketing, but was an utter failure. I thought to myself why can other people do and it and not me? So I went back to the drawing board and started questioning some of the reasons why I thought this was my dream desire to become an Internet Marketer.
After some time reflecting I found out or revealed some realities to myself. Number one being an Internet marketer wasn’t my dream it was just vehicle that I thought was attractive and sexy enough to get me to my dream which was to work from home and become financially free.
What I didn’t do was to start by looking at my own skills and interests and passions and to see if they matched up with the role of internet marketing, and you know what, they didn’t. None of my skills, passions or interests had nothing in common with Internet marketing.
“So it was like hammering a square peg into a round hole”.
Upon further reflection and introspection, I think even before following a dream we should look at first who we are and what is our personality, what makes us who we are, what are our passions, interests, skills and do these match up with our dreams, if they do then they are strongly rooted in you and who you are and your strengths and skills. If they don’t then the likely hood of you achieving your dreams is very slim and you will be wasting your life trying to achieve something that is not achievable.
“You have to really reflect and think deep”
If your dream is just a superficial dream not rooted in who you are but just based on your ego, because your ego is attracted to the lifestyle that comes with the dream then your dream is not a real dream but just a form of self-delusion.
The situation becomes even worse when people support your superficial dream either because they love you and don’t want to see you get hurt. But ultimately they are hurting you and should tell you the true, it may initially hurt and be painful but if someone truly loves you, they will always tell you the truth even if it hurts.
In other cases people lie to you to support your superficial dream and fuel your self-delusion because they can get something out of supporting your superficial dream. For example if you want to become a singer and you don’t have any talent and you hire a voice coach or a singing coach, they will perpetuate your self-delusion by telling you that you can become a singer and that you have a great voice you just need some coaching. Well of course they will support your superficial dream, because it is in their interest and they will get paid by you to coach them.
Superficial dreams will turn into a nightmare and the reality is they will end up singing in seedy bars and pubs just to make ends meat. When all it would have taken was just for someone to tell them the truth so they didn’t have to waste their life pursuing an empty dream.
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